My head cracked opened

I hurt myself a week ago and I am not quite sure why,
I guess because I am a boy I'm not supposed to cry.
I've known this pain all my life, and it is nothing new,
I suppose that's why I feel I need to explain my reasoning in this letter to you.
I had a rough childhood and I took it upon myself,
To take his temper to save my brothers from all the welts.
My mom and dad, they always fight, that's how I fall asleep,
I've never really told anyone this, these are the secrets I keep.
I stay in my room as long as I must to stay away from the noise,
I can;t remember the last time I ever felt some joy.
A social outcast at school is what I choose to be,
I don;t want anyone to get a glimpse of the real me.
I have a hot temper, one I owe to my dad,
I hate him so much, but the way I love him really is quite sad.
I have some problems I need to solve if I ever hope to be yours,
But with you by my side, I know I can do it for sure.
I just wanted to give you a heads up so I don;t catch you by surprise,
Now you know a little more, now you know my disguise.