My head cracked opened

I hurt so bad because of you and everything you've done
I dread each passing day, each rising of the sun.
I tried so hard and gave myself 100% to you.
I gave you several chances to try and start a new
I was in pain by your actions time and time again
I tried to be there for you, to be your forever friend.
I was pushed away and tossed aside, you never kept me near.
I felt so bad and why that was, was never really made clear.
You took me down, I picked you up and still you smacked me in the face
You tried to kill youself the ultimate form of disgrace.
I blamed myself for many things although I knew I shouldn't.
I tried to help you, be there even when I knew I couldn't.
I think about you all the time and it tears me up inside
The only way to keep from hating you is to just break down and cry.
I feel your pain, I feel your sorrow everytime I breathe
I pray for you every chance I get, head burried in my knees.
I can't do this anymore and I don';t want to let you go
I love you so much and that much you should know.
I'm getting stronger everday that I don't talk to you
I'm breaking the habit and when it's done you'll feel free'er too.
I wish it was that easy to just take it day by day
I'm not that person who can just up and walk away.
I care too much my biggest fault and it will be my end
But at least I can be satified with the way I chose to blend.
So the contradictions left and right are all that I posses
I don't know if this is right or wrong one thing I can confess.
I hope it all works out for you, you more than I
I hope you look back on the years without hatred in your eyes.
There's one last thing I have to say I hope you got my clue
Christopher Walker-Keith Verot, I have forgiven you.