My head cracked opened

I wrote a poem when you died, a poem so filled with sadness.
I wrote more poems as time went by, somtimes they were filled with madness.
I look back at them now, and they make me sad because I remember all the pain,
I never thought when I wrote those lines, I could go on with life again.
It has been less than a few months now, since you passed away and I'm still here,
I cry sometimes, though not as much, but I miss you and wish I could hold you near.
I tell myself for the sake of all that it's time to let you go,
But unless they've felt this pain, please tell me how would they know?
A friend of mine who knows how I feel, because he lost you too,
Said that grief was all my own, and my right to feel so blue.
So my darling friend who sits above, please wait for me I plea,
I have no idea when we'll meet again, but unlike you the choice is not up to me.